Blazers waive Greg Oden!
The Blazers are simply tired of Greg Oden's antics. With all the work the Blazers have done to improve public perception of the Blazers, it was decided that it would be best to just let the kid go before the damage he has caused becomes unrepairable.
Naming his dog after Charles Barkley was only a first step down a rocky road for Greg. When he starting blogging and actually communicating with the media he began bringing national attention to Portland. People started saying good things about the Blazers. The Oregonian even started being nice! Next came positive articles from the Tribune and ESPN! Shocking, I know! Next Greg let his uncle give him a crazy hair cut that was so bad that it actually got a nickname, the "frohawk".
It had gotten so bad that it became almost impossible to watch a nationally televised game without the commentators gushing about what a great team the Blazers have become and what fantastic chemistry they have. Pathetic. Will they ever shut up? If you look in the crowds during these games you actually see Blazer jerseys!
As if this wasn't bad enough, games began selling out and nobody could get tickets without going to Craig's list!
Lastly Greg had the audacity to actually try and PLAY basketball! How could he do it? Why would he want people to see how good he is? All it did was bring even more attention. Sheesh, somebody has to make this stop. What next, another R.O.Y.?
I'm glad the Blazers finally realized what needed to be done!
The Blazers can now go back to being called the "jailblazers" and holding press conferences to play power games with the local newspapers. They can watch their televised games and be comforted by the cruel words of the commentators. The Blazers can now retreat back to their dark world where negative attention is better than nothing at all. The fans can return to checking the news every morning to see what Blazer has been busted. Ticket holders will now be stuck with all their unused tickets and be able to buy Blazer gear at garage sales, just like the good old days.
Whew, I sure am glad that's all over! April Fools! Love you Greg! Thanks for everything you have done for us! :)
Naming his dog after Charles Barkley was only a first step down a rocky road for Greg. When he starting blogging and actually communicating with the media he began bringing national attention to Portland. People started saying good things about the Blazers. The Oregonian even started being nice! Next came positive articles from the Tribune and ESPN! Shocking, I know! Next Greg let his uncle give him a crazy hair cut that was so bad that it actually got a nickname, the "frohawk".
It had gotten so bad that it became almost impossible to watch a nationally televised game without the commentators gushing about what a great team the Blazers have become and what fantastic chemistry they have. Pathetic. Will they ever shut up? If you look in the crowds during these games you actually see Blazer jerseys!
As if this wasn't bad enough, games began selling out and nobody could get tickets without going to Craig's list!
Lastly Greg had the audacity to actually try and PLAY basketball! How could he do it? Why would he want people to see how good he is? All it did was bring even more attention. Sheesh, somebody has to make this stop. What next, another R.O.Y.?
I'm glad the Blazers finally realized what needed to be done!
The Blazers can now go back to being called the "jailblazers" and holding press conferences to play power games with the local newspapers. They can watch their televised games and be comforted by the cruel words of the commentators. The Blazers can now retreat back to their dark world where negative attention is better than nothing at all. The fans can return to checking the news every morning to see what Blazer has been busted. Ticket holders will now be stuck with all their unused tickets and be able to buy Blazer gear at garage sales, just like the good old days.
Whew, I sure am glad that's all over! April Fools! Love you Greg! Thanks for everything you have done for us! :)
posted by KJM at 8:39 AM
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